Agatha Arch is Afraid of Everything

Agatha Arch’s life shatters when she discovers her husband in their backyard shed, in flagrante delicto, giving the local dog walker some heavy petting. Suddenly, Agatha finds herself face to face with everything that frightens her…and that’s a loooooong list.

Agatha keeps those she loves close. Everyone else, she keeps as far away as possible. So she’s a mystery to nearly everyone in her New England town. To her husband, she’s a saucy, no-B.S. writer. To her Facebook Moms group, she’s a provocateur. To her neighbor, she’s a standoffish pain in the butt. To her sons, she’s chocolate pudding with marshmallows. And to her shrink, she’s a bundle of nerves on the brink of a cataclysmic implosion.

Defying her abundant assortment of anxieties, Agatha dons her “spy pants”–a pair of khakis whose many pockets she crams with binoculars, fishing line, scissors, flashlight, a Leatherman Super Tool 300 EOD, candy, and other espionage essentials–and sets out to spy on her husband and the dog walker. Along the way, she finds another intriguing target to follow: a mysterious young woman who’s panhandling on the busiest street in town.

It’s all a bit much for timorous Agatha. But with the help of her Bear Grylls bobblehead, a trio of goats, and a dog named Balderdash, Agatha may just find the courage to build a better life.

“An uproarious send-up of modern suburbia.”

“Singularly original and satisfyingly compelling…”

“Agatha will draw readers in with her wry takes: ‘these are the first death threats ever to be issued as a result of a Moms group posting. It is frightening but thrilling.’ Fans of Where’d You Go, Bernadette and Elinor Oliphant Is Fine will love this clever romp.”

“Hilarious… Readers of Laurie Gelman and Abbi Waxman who enjoy irreverent moms…will enjoy the ride.”

“…a fun, funny, and fresh story of resilience to the many betrayals of marriage and middle age.”

“A modern moms’-group morality tale with heart to spare, Agatha Arch Is Afraid of Everything is charming, witty, wry, and just wicked enough for any reader to love.”

“If Bernadette joined the cast of Dead to Me and moved to New England, the result would be Agatha Arch Is Afraid of Everything. With whip smart writing and a quotable line on every page, Bair creates an unforgettable character to act on our most hilariously sinister thoughts. When times are tough, let Agatha Arch have any meltdown you’re repressing in this cathartic and unexpectedly poignant read.”

“Oh, how I loved this book! Move over Eleanor Oliphant—Agatha Arch is here. And she’s the exact quirky, laugh-out-loud, feel-good heroine everyone in the world needs right now.”

“Bair’s gimlet eye and ready wit make this sprightly read as refreshing, necessary, and delicious as summer lemonade.”

“From the very first page, Agatha Arch's voice is a breath of fresh air, fears and all. A highly satisfying read, sure to be one of my favorites of the year.”

“Hilarious and heartbreaking, fresh and wise, and quirky as can be. If you love Bridget and Bernadette, please meet Agatha. I loved her, and you will, too.”

“A singular and relatable story that’s ideal for fans of Where’d You Go, Bernadette.”